The Transformation & The Payne

Hello you all!

Been a while and there is a very simple reason for that, I have done nothing but stream the last weeks. Absolutely nothing at all except for yesterday when the gang went to Texas Burger Steakhouse and celebrated Mini-Awesome whom become one year closer to death. It was awesome indeed, as always.

Back on the subject at hand, this blog has been about my crazy experiences and crazy ideas. It has been great and people apparently love it. However my health has crippled me hard and I am no longer able to go out and do crazy things. All of my “crazy” I put into the stream at the moment and believe me.. it is crazy sometimes. But that means there aren’t that much I can write about. Which makes me sad
I will still write about my opinions of stuff like the post about fashion and whatnot, fear not, and of course I will still give some small updates about the gaming/streaming. Bottom line: I will still write as much as I can and as often I have material

Alright I was gonna put a “Gaming Section” warning here but fuck it since this is more about the rage at the game
I played (and streamed) Max Payne 3 for two days which was like 8-9 hours of gameplay.
Day one was nice, bugs and flaws yes but it was fun enough
Day two… It sucked… it sucked so hard… going with the blowjob metaphor it sucked so hard that the penis broke off and imploded on itself.
Right before I started the game I said out loud “I don’t think I will like this game but what the hell let’s give it a shot” and by some miracle I still got disappointed.
Most often people build up a hype about a game and then get disappointed cause the game didn’t live up to the insane standards most idiots puts up BUT I DO NOT OF COURSE!
Anyhoo, I’m gonna give you three typical scenarios that points out how one can get disappointed:
1; You go into the game with the mind set on “Oh boy this game is gonna be great” followed by “Noooooooo I am so disappointed! My hopes has been crushed” = This wasn’t the case
2; You go into the game with the mind set on “This game is gonna be be okay” followed by “Damn it wasn’t… That’s disappointing”
3; You go into the game with the mind set on “This game is gonna suck” followed by “Yeah it sucked” (Not surprised and therefore no disappointment)

In this case it should have been Nr 3… but no… Yes I went into the game with my mind set on “This game is gonna suck” BUT at the end I was like “HOLY FUCK THIS GAME IS SO BAD! 4 straight hours of hope that the next room is the last room of the game! Disappointment through the fucking roof!”
One should not be able to get so disappointed when one is anticipating to get disappointed…
Ask me on the stream just why this game fails at so many levels and I will give you examples and reasons, there are plenty of both

Anyways I’m tired and I’m gonna watch a bit of a League of Legends tournament so stay awesome guys!

   This is Captain Awesome – signing out

Leave me alone!

Just as the fucking title says!

Don’t come to me with some some shitty petty problem of yours cause I will slap you really hard with the sharp edge of a knife. Seriously… you have some tiny problem with your partner or economic situation and you choose to come to me? How fucked up is that?

Yes I’m not feeling okay, actually I’m pretty fucking far from okay
I go to bed every night in fear of sleep because I have to close my eyes and relax… which means I can hear every single bad voice/thought that pops up, always end up crying
I wake up each morning with no idea if the dream I just have was real or not and if this all is a dream or not
I fear nothing except for everything
I’m never hungry cause I can’t eat anything tasty without begging someone to kill me so the pain can stop
I try to listen to people’s stories but my mind keeps wandering away and all of a sudden I have no idea what the discussion is all about
I don’t wish for death but I sure ain’t wish for life

There are however some things that keeps me going. You three already know who you are. Oh and the streaming, it is awesome and keeps me occupied with something I love, Gaming

Stay awesome!
This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Journey and The Connections (Gaming post, mostly)

Hey fellow earth-dwellers,

I miss the old days where I could chunk down a glass of whiskey and just enjoy life in a smooth buzzed state of mind! Just a memory and dream from here on…
Just got the news that there will be more meds in my bloodstream in a while and hopefully that will have a positive affect, although the opposite is quite possible.

So Mini-Awesome, Miss-Awesomeness and me have decided to test Final Fantasy XIV Online. Hated it back when it was in beta…
We’ve only been playing for a couple of hours and I gotta say… So far it’s actually very nice. How long this will last is unknown and will unfold as time goes by. It isn’t fast paced but every move you make feels powerful, meaningful. In other MMORPG’s you just spam fireballs untill something drops, BORING! While in this game you have to decide which action you should spend resources on and you gotta look into which skills has the best synergy between them. Real fun!
As I said we only started and I will tell you how it goes once we get a little deeper in the game

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So I’ve been Twitching a lot lately and gained some followers. It is so awesome and I love to chat with people about games and even talk about random shit with people I don’t really know. Love it!
So far I’ve beaten Borderlands and raged a bit in The Binding of Isaac (fucking stupid game…) and today I started up Rage which I will be playing for a while. After that it may very well be The Darkness II or perhaps something arcade like Shatter. I really don’t know yet but one thing I do know is that I will continue. Also if I’m to stream PS3 games then I will need some new equipment… Like a Hauppauge and that shit costs a bit… Damn it… Ah well I’ll get the money somehow sometime and continue the awesomeness that is within me!
Actually there’s a lot of new stuff I wanna get but money aint growing on no trees so one step at a time. The other alternative is to find me a sponsor (ha ha) or go into prostitution… One is easy to do but I won’t do it and the other is damn hard but will be so awesome. Guess which is which?

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I know I’m neglecting the blog a bit and I am truly sorry for that, my excuse is that I’m not feeling well at all and also I’m blocking myself off with my games and twitching. I will update more when times are better and I can at least promise you that I won’t stop making posts. Cause I love doing it

   This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Anger and The League

Hi,

I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF BEING SICK!!!
Seriously… everything I eat gives me great pain and every single day is a mental struggle of the control of my own mind. No… Aliens are not invading my mind… I’m just saying is that I have to really focus to not get crazy and/or get a mental breakdown.
I really don’t know what to do anymore, I’ve tried and tried to get better with absolutely no effect. Actually everything have gotten worse the past year. If life is a lottery then I’ve picked up the über sucky loser tickets. Fucking ridiculous

So what has been going on lately? I’ve picked a few new games actually… Like I need it… Also Tails and I played some Jenga with Mini and his sister Susse. Was fun and I’m gonna make a video of it when I can (soon I hope).
I also got some an awesome video to share with you, I laughed so hard at this one

UPDATE: I’m feeling a bit tired and have a headache. Apparently I’m warm too as Tails held a hand on my forehead. A fever is not appreciated right now. Someone slay me now

: Gaming Section : Start
Currently I’m following the League of Legends down at Dreamhack. It’s so amazing to see elite players play this game, so awesome. The winning team in that tournament gets 200 000 sek and in dollar that’s about 29k I believe… Totally sick, wish I was that awesome… Perhaps I could be with some dedication and focus, which I don’t have.
My goal right now is to stream so much as possible and beat as many games I can before I croak.
If you want to watch the tournament with me, here is the link

League of Legends
: Gaming Section : End

This is Captain Awesome – signing out

Short status update

Just writing to explain why I haven’t posted anything in a while.

My stomach has been aching like hell for the last week or so. For example, last Friday I spent 7 hours in total agony where I couldn’t do anything. Last Sunday I spent 10 hours in relatively awful agony where all I could do was to watch some LoL Live games (missed much of them).
Now everything I eat gives me pain, even the most basic things that I’ve never had any trouble with in the past. Totally strange and totally chaotic.

I will return as soon as I can gather up some strength

This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Jester and The Greens

My fellow humans and X-men,

In the tribute post to The Big Bang Theory I talked about entertainment and I would like to revisit that subject
People often think about actors and their money like “- They get an insane amount of money for something that isn’t even that important in the world. While I’m busting my ass to save people’s lives in a hospital for but a fraction of that money… Life ain’t fair.”
I’m here to tell you that you are WRONG! Yes it’s true that life isn’t fair and yes actors get ridiculous amounts of money. Kaley Cuoco and Jim Parsons gets 200 000 dollars per episode… PER EPISODE! There are over 20 episodes in a season so that’s 4 000 000 dollars for the whole year… Insane amount of money… I’m not here to say that they deserve THAT much money but they do have one of the most important jobs in the world.
Yes I said it, they are as important as doctors. Perhaps even more. Let me explain it to you:
You get home from work, stressed and tired as always. You have to make dinner and then get the kids to do their homework. When you’ve done everything you have to do… what do you do to relax? How do you reload for another days work?
Most common answer today involves two letters… V and T! … Oh wait I got it all backwards… TV! We all need to laugh on a regular basis in order to stay sane. Without entertainment we wouldn’t need doctors because none of us would want to live. Fact. I’m not saying the world will go under without television but I don’t think it would be healthy to our society if TV and Internet goes blank.
The real job as an actor is to give all the others out there the energy they need to do theirs. Do you still think actors are useless moneybags?

They deserve respect and they deserve to be paid. Are they worth 4 million each a year? Probably not but you get my point

With that taken care of I have to be make one thing very clear… SOME actors deserve credit and SOME simply don’t. I won’t say any names of actors that suck donkey-dick like Joaquin Phoenix as that would be wrong towards them and Joaquin Phoenix.

–
My stomach is about to commit suicide so I’ll have to wrap this up. See ya next time and keep spreading this blog and my Twitch Channel, I really appreciate it.

This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Retards and The Spasm

Hilo,

Some idiot drove a truck into my skull… again… I’M NOT A PARKING SPACE! Damn headache….

Anyways, I’ve been Twitching for a while now if you haven’t noticed. It’s fun and it gives me the boost I need to go through some games. So if you want to see me play and hear me nerdraging that is the place to be! Yesterday I played Diablo 3 with Awesomeness and a Norwegian guy started writing on the chat. Don’t know he found my channel among the others out there but was great having you there. Surprisingly I understood what he wrote. Oh I guess I have to mention I completely suck at Scandinavian languages. Norwegian and Swedish is similar to each other in many ways but still I cannot understand it… but apparently as long as it’s written I’m golden. Have to try and listen to Norwegian and see if I’m getting better at it, been about 12 years since I heard it last time. Dammit… got sidetracked again… anyway, Twitch, Norwegian dude, was fun ^_^
Gonna try to keep up the channel as long as I can, quite fallen in love with it.

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So how am I feeling? Well as most of you know I’ve been sick a long time and it doesn’t seem to get any better anytime soon I’m afraid. I’m getting a lot of help from a lot of people (both doctors and friends) so at some point it will get better/easier. If you’re sick in Sweden you have to deal with the government to get the money you need to survive. YES I do get money even though I’m as useful as a popsicle in Africa. However it isn’t much, it covers my rent, food, meds and bus pass. Beyond that I can’t afford much… I don’t eat so much so I can afford the occasional game but that’s it. I’m not rich and I would trade my pain for any job out there without blinking.
Anyways to get the money I have to deal with the government. All the politicians here are monkeys who flings poop at each other, or babies who throws sand. Now they’ve started some new project where they help people to get into the working market. Sounds good right? WRONG! First of all it’s a new project… Every new project implode on itself in the beginning and then they maybe turn into something good. Also there are two government units working together in this project and I’m gonna start by introducing them to you. The first one is ‘Arbetsförmedlingen’, they help unemployed people to find new jobs. Unfortunaley they suck and are plain stupid. I’ve never dealt with them in person but EVERY person I know who has says they are completely worthless… So that is the first unit… The second unit is ‘Försäkringskassan’ who funds sick people like me until they are able to work. I’ve been lucky as they have been kind to me but MOST people have had problems with them. Anyway I can’t talk much shit about them since they’ve supported me quite a bit. A sidenote is also that I’m in no position to start something like this since I haven’t quite reached that point where I can think about start working.
So those two units work together in this new project called ‘Dirigo’. So I got a phone call from one of the guys from this project. He introduced himself, explained what it all was about (lousy explanation at that), he then said that I’ve been randomly selected and asked if I would like to participate in this? (yay lucky me…) First thought was to say “You’re project is gonna crash n’ burn so hell no” but then I started thinking… this unit gives me money to survive… I really can’t say no can i? So I collected myself and after asking some more questions about the project this conversation took place: (CptA is me and Idiot is the government guy)
CptA – Well I’m not sure if I’m the right candidate for this right now, have you seen my file?
Idiot – Yeah I got it right here
(at this point I knew he hadn’t looked at it for more than 10 seconds)
CptA – Well it’s tricky to understand from that paper so let me clear it up for you and add some more stuff that have come up *followed by a long explanation of my situation and what I’m currently doing to get better*
Idiot – … Oh… Okay… Um… Well this changes things (DUH!). Maybe I can call you after the summer and we can see then how it is?
(Yes… I’ve only been sick for years so let’s see how much better I’m feeling after two more months WHILE ALL THE DOCTORS ARE ON VACATION! … Someone alert NASA cause I’ve found our next genius rocket scientist…)
CptA – …. Ok sure let’s do that… Have a lovely day

And that is the kind of people who are supposed to help people like me into a brighter future… I fear for humanity… Don’t get me wrong, I would try it out if I was in a position where I could handle it. I’m not impossible. I would prefer to work with someone smarter than a pencil though…
Long story short: The Swedish government fails at so many points these days!

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Now for something completely different. I just caught one of the cats as he chewed on my headset cable… As I reached down to grab him he slashed my hand three times before I caught him… Oh wait make that four, I just found another wound… Don’t know what got into him since he’s never chewed on cables before what I know of, much less attack my hand… So now I sit here dripping blood on the keyboard as I type. NO CANDY FOR YOU! Dunno what I would do if he chewed off the master cable or something… Two really bad scenarios are: He can fry the PSU (power supply unit) and that in turn could fry… well… the whole fucking computer, I won’t enjoy that… The other scenario is where he gets electrocuted and dies in a heartattack, not the best way to die. I’m not happy right now!

That’s everything for today, next time I might have a cute video for you guys made by yours truly.

This is Captain Awesome – signing out

Tribute: The Kaley Cuoco and The Jim Parsons

Tribute post here we go,

So I mentioned a TV show that outshines every other show in the universe? The answer is simple as there is nothing close to it

The Big Bang Theory!!!
I’m trying to find words to describe just how good this show really is… Isn’t going well… ‘Awesome’ usually works for everything except for this particular case… I think I’m settling with ‘genius’
Here comes a short description of the show for those of you who haven’t seen it but first I wanna say a couple of words to those people. WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?! Slap yourself in the face and go to nearest place where you can watch/rent/buy season 1, at least. Don’t download it for free though… Usually I don’t care if people go pirates and download stuff but I demand that you get this show legit. Captain Awesome has spoken

In essence there is a girl named Penny (Kaley Cuoco) who moves in across the hall from the 2 brilliant scientists Leonard Hofstadter (Johnny Galecki) and Sheldon Cooper (Jim Parsons).Sheldon is a total genius with an IQ of 187 but does not understand neither sarcasm or deep emotions. Leonard on the other hand, while being a brainiac, is more of a smart nerd who quickly falls in love with Penny. They both have doctorates and work at a university. They also have two friends in form of Howard Wolowitz (Simon Helberg) and Rajesh Koothrappali (Kunal Nayyar). They also work at the university as a engineer and astrophysicist respectively. Together they play video games, roleplaying games (not the bedroom kind) and collecting comic books and action figures. In short they are big nerds.
Penny on the other hand was born in Omaha, Nebraska and aspires to be a professional actress but with little results. In the meantime she works at The Cheesecake Factory as a waitress and bartender. Penny is no brainiac, in fact she is pretty un-smart (dumb is too negative) and her interests are acting, guys and partying. A complete contrast to the others. Despite the differences the 5 become close friends and crazy situations erupts.

Sounds a bit boring on paper but I laughter is guaranteed when watching this show, it’s awesomely genius. Now on to the the ones mentioned in the title which I think contributes the most to this show. The actual tribute part.

Kaley Cuoco

The beautiful Kaley who plays Penny, the somewhat dumb waitress from Nebraska. Kaley plays this role so damn awesome, to the point of angelicty. Which is a compliment beyond compliments.
First I was going to write some about Kaley as a person when it hits me… I don’t know a crap about her. I could spend an entire day reading every article she’s been in and every statement she’s made but in the end it is irrelevant. For all I know it could all be rumors and assumptions. To get to know a person one has to spend time with him/her. Obvious logic is obvious. This makes me a bit sad because I would very much like to say that I know how both Kaley and Jim are in real life alas that isn’t true. As Metallica puts it “Sad but true”.
It believe it takes brains and skills to play dumb. “The dumber the character, the smarter the actor/actress is” I always say. And no, I don’t mean in the terms of IQ which just happens to be nothing else than a number. Actually I think people with high IQ tend to be assholes (this is coming from a member of MENSA). Oh crap I got sidetracked… where was I? Oh yeah, Kaley crazy beautiful and awesome.
I would like to continue but I would only go in repetitive circles. As a closing statement I say: Kaley I think you are awesome

Jim Parsons

The awesome Jim who plays Sheldon Cooper, the brilliant scientist with non-existent social skills. This man is so amazing… It should almost be illegal to be this good an actor. Mankind is driven by emotions so in order to play a character who could be compared to a robot one has to be really good. On top of that this robot is crazy smart which makes it even harder to pull off and yet Jim does this flawlessly. He has won an Emmy, the Golden Globe, the Television Critics Association award and possibly more that I’ve missed. Do I need to continue? I think I’ve made my case.
While writing all this I was discussing the post with a friend. In the middle of it all he said “I heard something about him being gay” …. Well after Jim won the Emmy award he proposed to his boyfriend (which I’ve heard he has been dating for 10 years) so I kinda suspect he is gay. As I fail to understand how it’s even remotely interesting I kinda E-slapped my friend… Why you ask? I have no idea but I liked it. Congratulations to the engagement and I hope the two of you live happily ever after. As a closing statement I say: Jim I think you are awesome

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Kaley and Jim… You give me light in these dark times. You make my life a little better. For that I thank you. I would be surprised if any of you actually read this but if by any chance you do… Know that I can never do you justice but I hope you appreciate this post, if just a little bit.

I also want to thank the rest of the crew and the staff who makes The Big Bang Theory into reality. Thank you all!

   This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Waterkill and The Fuzz

Hey people,

Something terrible happened to me the other day… I broke one of my own rules…. Guess I’ll have to give you the back story
Before I step out of the apartment I always make sure I packed the usual: Phone, wallet, keys, water, panic pills for my stomach, samarin (no idea what the english name for that medicine is), a couple of tissues, one 10kr coin, one or two 5kr coins, my lucky pen etc etc
This one time I forgot something… and it is one of the most important item in the backpack… the water bottle. To make everything clear, when my stomach feels funny I zip some water, when I’m nervous my mouth tends to dry a bit so I zip some water, when I’m nervous I zip some water. The simple bottle of water is my comfort and stress release when in public and I left home without it… Just buy some you say? Well here comes my rule

“Never pay for water or sex – because you can get both for free”

See the issue here? Suffer without water or break one of my own rules… tough call. I was on my way to the therapist too so I couldn’t go back…. After a while I realized that I can’t continue without some water so I did the horrible thing… bought some water… well it was either that or start killing random people in hope that one of them carries some. I stand by my choice. Won’t forget the water again anytime soon.

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I’m so tired nowadays… So damn tired and depressed. Don’t know what to do about it and I can’t finish anything I’ve started… Annoying piece of shit. The heat kills me too… fucking hate heat.
Anyways, if you think my posts are a bit bland and short these days then look above for the explanation. I just have to find a save point and reboot. Always works with machines.

You know how I know God doesn’t exist? I’m in a lot of pain and suffer daily in misery while criminals run around and do whatever they want. And if they ever do get caught they get a year or two and prison and then they come out and can continue with whatever they want… Fuckers… Maybe I should follow their example? The pathetic thing is that it’s a bad idea and not a terrible idea… it can’t be a terrible idea as long as there are criminals who are free and happy. Pathetic

Next post will hopefully be my tribute post. Might be about something else.. depends on you guys really

: Gaming Section : Start

Finally got my FF7 for PC and took me hours to fix all the mods and such but holy hell I did it!!! It makes me all fuzzy inside when I play this game… and now it’s with updated graphics and stuff… I can die peacefully now

Gonna record some and show it to you guys but as mentioned I need to reload a bit

: Gaming Section : End

Thanks for all the support I get from you. I’m still hanging on so no need to worry that much. Just in a tough(er?) spot right now

   This is Captain Awesome – signing out

The Music and The Power of Mako MK2

Good news, Diablo 3 is down for maintenance so I can give you some of my time
… My producer just pointed out that the statement was counterproductive so I’m going to change it okay?

Good news, as I care about you guys so much I took some time off from Diablo 3 to bring you some AwesomeMinded
… Okay the producer is happy with that so let’s move on

Short post today as I haven’t done much of anything except playing Diablo 3. Fucking awesome game that is.
Instead I’m giving you  a peak of upcoming posts:
I’ve watched a lot of TV series over the years and today I follow a bunch. There is one that stands out from the rest as THE most awesome thing that has ever appeared on TV! I will be talking about that show and also two of the actors from it that are nothing short of awesome. Think of it as a tribute post to them
Hot topics! I’m gonna talk shit about everything that comes in my way. Like politics, healthcare, morals and much more. Examples are SOPA/PIPA, McDonalds, Swedens government.
Big topic in this blog is crazy stuff I do and think about and when my health gets better (fingers crossed) there will be more documentation on my daily life

This and much more in future posts but now to something completely different!

The AwesomeMinded theme song is finished and I’ve done a quick mixing since I don’t have the resources (read ‘time and energy’) to make it fully mastered. I’ve uploaded as I want you to hear it and no… that is not the final “logo”.

: Gaming Section : Start

Diablo 3

Someone actually cleared Inferno! Solo!
Though he used a cheap tactic which will most certainly be fixed pretty damn soon. Still I congratulate this player from Denmark who accomplished this awesome feat! … Yes he is Danish… Never thought anyone or anything from Denmark would achieve anything important… Ah well… In other news Hell has just been filled with candy and my cat is puking gold.

Final Fantasy 7

I found a way to play this awesome game in improved quality! I got the info that you need a PC version of the game and then install some programs who will then mod the game to make it look awesome. I think this is my favourite game in history so I naturally went on Ebay and bought a PC version.. cost me a bit but fuck it I need it! Still waiting for the package but my blood is boiling with excitement! Let me show you the video and be prepared to put on your Holy-fuck-that-is-so-awesome face, you’re gonna need it

: Gaming Section : End

That’s all for today folks, share if you care

This is Captain Awesome – signing out